Cookies & Bars

It’s Fridaaaaaaaay!  Hallelujah.

And we have OREOS!  On our minds and in our mouths.  It’s going to be a good weekend.

I made these little beauties as a knee-jerk reaction to a few things that happened this week.  First, I ran my credit card through the washing machine, so that was fun for everyone.  Then I made friends with a giant spider crawling up the wall of my bedroom (totally awesome) and, finally, a bunch of the (very lovely, I might add) wedding invitations I sent out last week showed up in my mailbox, all marked-up and ugly-like, because the post office is a big fat idiot.  I’d like to return YOU to sender, post office.  And then shove like 5 homemade Oreos (fauxreos?) in my face.

I’ve been wanting to make my own Oreos for awhile now, but never went for it because it seemed like kind of a hassle.  For the record, it’s totally not.  The simple dough comes together (without the help of an electric mixer, I might add) quickly, and the cream filling is a breeze of butter and sugar.

And the real secret here?  …Salt.  (Kosher salt.)  There’s a generous amount of it in the chocolate cookie dough, and then an extra pinch is whisked into the filling, too.  It really helps balance the sweetness of the cookie and compliment the deep, dark chocolate flavor we’re going for.

So what are you waiting for?  It’s milk’s favorite cookie!  And it’s the weekend!  Homemade Oreos should probably happen.  Dunked then crumbled.  (Heyo.)

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Gingerbread chocolate chunk cookies!  They’re the tenderest things, with the perfect chew.  The way they yield when you first bite them is an eye-closing thing.  And then the gingery spice hits you and the chocolate chunks put up a fight with some richness and heft.  So good.  I’m pretty sure Santa wants these cookies.  He must!  With a tall glass of milk and extra helpings of coziness and goodwill.

Well, eff Santa, because I accidentally ate all the cookies and now they’re gone.

…Oops.  I’m sorry, Santa.

But am I, really?  I mean, I’m a Jew with a Christmas tree, so I’m sort of an expert in sending mixed messages/disappointing my elders, anyway.  Ah, well.

Kids, don’t be like me.  Don’t just eat the cookie chunks out of that pint of ice cream, and then put it back in the freezer.  Don’t accidentally kill all the plants you own.  Do wear real pants instead of leggings sometimes, and please, for the sake of Christmas, save some effing cookies for Santa.

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Cookies help me think.  And cookies with milk chocolate chips and espresso in them?  Hours of thinking in my future.  Look out, people.

You know what I mean, though?  Mixing and measuring.  Scooping and baking and cooling.  Inhaling all of the warm, cookie smells.  I feel less tense just thinking about the process.  Baking is a relaxing ritual for me, one that lets me either bliss out and think of absolutely nothing when I’ve got too much on my mind, or helps me sharpen up my brain clatter and focus on what’s important.

Today I’m calling upon the focus.  The writing-a-speech-for-your-sister’s-wedding-day kind of focus.  I’ve got 30 days until game time, but so far no speech.  (Help!)  Granted, I haven’t actually tried to get anything down on paper yet (don’t tell Emily), but the pressure is on.  (Help!) I mean, I’m a writer!  This better be good.  (Help!!)  Maybe you can help?  In exchange for cookies?

Go ahead — have a cookie.  Then tell me — what should I do?  Should I be teary and sincere?  Or should I take the funny route?  I know it’s a highly personal project, but I need to know — what are your best speech-writing tips?

I (and my sister, probably) thank you in advance.  But we probably shouldn’t tell her about this.  Okay?  Cool.  Another cookie for you.

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Hello, friends!  A lot’s been going on over here.

Firstly, I got contacts.  For my eyes.  I’d been avoiding it for awhile, but the necessity of fixing my terrible vision made itself clear last week when, during a game of pick up field hockey on some multi-purpose turf fields, I yelled over to a guy on the sidelines, ostensibly waiting his turn to join the game — “Oh, hey, do you want to sub in?”

Which really would have been fine and rather accommodating, except for the fact that, upon closer inspection, the guy turned out to be a 14-year-old boy in a baseball uniform waiting for his mother to come pick him up, looking at me like I’d just sprouted another head.  Oops.

Contacts!  Fine.

The second thing that happened this week was the official one-year anniversary of my cross-country move to SF.  One whole year!  A year ago, I was packing up all of my things and eating oreo cake and taking a nervous flight, and then unpacking all of my things in a new and small and lovely apartment.  With a boy!  I mean, whoa.  The whole living-with-a-boy reality was hard to grasp at first, but it set in firmly that first morning in our new place, when I abruptly discovered that we were out of toilet paper.  Who doesn’t buy extra rolls of toilet paper?!?

Boys, that’s who.

I learned that lesson quickly, and Ben and I haven’t had any (fine, many) issues (toilet paper-related or otherwise) since.  It turns out that this boy is an expert pasta maker, a skilled note-leaver/cartoon draw-er, the dapperest of dance partners, and an enthusiastic helper in the effort to ration our newly acquired boxes of Girl Scout cookies.  A good man, clearly.

Thirdly, this week was K.Gro’s birthday!  For those that don’t know her, K.Gro is special. She is a bff/cousin extraordinaire and a recent inductee into the ranks of the gluten-intolerant. Happy gluten-free birthday, K.Gro!  Naturally, I thought some cookies were in order.  They’re my first foray into gluten-free baking and I have to say, all gluten aside, these are good.  Their texture is perfection: crispy-shelled and soft-and-chewy-crumbed.  Flavor-wise, these are deep and full of chocolate – not quite as peanut buttery as I’d prefer, but I’m the kind of person who’d prefer everything to taste more like peanut butter, so that should come with a grain of (sea) salt.  Which is also essential to the recipe.

So tell me — have you tried gluten-free baking yet?  What are the tricks of the gluten-free trade?  Leave word in the comments — inquiring (and cookie/cake/bread-loving) minds want to know!

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