Breakfast

Excuse me, hi. Yes, is this thing on? Yes. Hi.

I think we should talk about something. Caramelized onions. Can we just agree right now that they smell of heaven above and bring happiness, justice and tranquility wherever they go?

Well. I made that stuff up about justice and tranquility. But the happiness part, and also the heaven scented bit, those are true. Empirically and emphatically true. The smell of onions caramelizing in a pan, that powerfully sweet yet grounding smell, the one that fills kitchens and minds with hints of something good to come — is there any smell much better than that?

New babies, maybe. Or unicorns. I guess.

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Cream scones.

Cream.

Scones.

Today, I made some. I then ate approximately 4 of them, in rapid succession, and then felt approximately ill. But really, what was I supposed to do? My mother and her friends were sitting around our kitchen table, planning my cousin Laura’s wedding shower and gabbing away about save the dates and “party flow” and napkin schemes. I love a good party, and I love Laura, but when it comes to bridal shower crockery, apparently I’m at a loss. Party flow. napkin schemes. What else could I do but shove warm cream scones down my gullet?

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As it turns out, I was in Seattle last weekend. I’d never been before, and it’s sort of a beautiful place, if you’re into amazing markets and fresh fish and misty ocean views.

I spent the weekend eating and boating and biking, walking through parks and markets, and surrounding myself with fleece-wearing, messenger-bag-toting computer geniuses. I even stumbled upon some sort of medieval sword fighting slash jousting convention in Gas Works Park (definitely a highlight of the trip – and definitely still kicking myself for not getting a photo).

I touched a starfish at the Seattle Aquarium,

and got completely overwhelmed at Pike Place Market.

I ate the best crumpet I’ve ever tasted at The Crumpet Shop, a little tea nook and bakery on 1st Avenue by Pike Street.

And y’know what? It barely rained a drop. All that talk about Seattle being all wet and brooding? Lies. They don’t want you to know, but Seattle is actually gorgeous and flecked with sunshine (at least, it is in September). That said, I might have to go back and double check the whole weather situation. It’d be a sacrifice, but I think it’s one I’m willing to make – for my readers, of course. The trip would totally be a weather-researching thing. I mean, it’d have nothing to do with crumpets, that’s for sure.

Crumpets with Butter, Ricotta and Jam

Recipe from The Bread Book by Linda Collister & Anthony Blake

Ingredients:

• 2 cups (230g) bread flour
• 1 2/3 cups (230g) all purpose flour
• ¾ teaspoon cream of tartar
• 1 envelope active dry yeast (2 ¼ teaspoons), plus ½ teaspoon sugar
• 2 ¼ cups (510ml) lukewarm water
• 2 teaspoons (10g) salt
• ½ teaspoon baking soda
• 2/3 cup (140ml) lukewarm milk

• unsalted butter
• whole-milk ricotta cheese
• your favorite jam (I like blackberry)

Directions:

Sift together the flours and cream of tartar into a large bowl. Mix the yeast and the sugar with ¾ cup lukewarm water and let stand until foamy, 5 to 10 minutes. Stir in the remaining lukewarm water.

Combine the yeast mixture with the flours in the bowl of an electric mixer set with the paddle attachment. Mix until you get a very thick, but smooth batter. (If you don’t have an electric mixer, use a wooden spoon and beat vigorously for about two minutes). Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and let stand in a warm spot until the batter rises and then falls, about 1 hour.

Add the salt and beat the batter for about 1 minute. Then re-cover the bowl and let stand in a warm spot for 15 to 20 minutes to rest.

Dissolve the baking soda in the lukewarm milk. Then gently stir it into the batter. If the batter seems too stiff, add a bit of lukewarm water to loosen it up a bit. (You’ll know if the batter is too stiff if, when you fry up a crumpet, no holes form – crumpets are supposed to be very light and full of holes. No holes = too stiff, add water).

Heat an oiled griddle or frying pan (cast iron works best) over moderately low heat for about 3 minutes until very hot. Put a well-greased crumpet ring (who owns crumpet rings? Feel free to use a round cookie cutter) on the griddle. Spoon or pour 1/3 cup of the batter into the ring. The amount of batter will depend on the size of your crumpet ring (or cookie cutter).

As soon as the batter is poured into the ring, it should begin to form holes. If holes do not form, add a little more lukewarm water, a tablespoon at a time, to the batter in the bowl and try again. If the batter is too thin and runs out under the ring, gently work in a little more all-purpose flour and try again. Once the batter is the proper consistency, continue cooking the crumpets in batches, three or four at a time. As soon as the top surface is set and covered with holes, 7 to 8 minutes, the crumpet is ready to flip over.

To flip the crumpet, remove the ring with a towel or tongs, then turn the crumpet carefully with a spatula. The cooked side should be chestnut brown. Cook the second, holey side of the crumpet for 2 to 3 minutes, or until pale golden. The crumpet should be about ¾ inch thick. Remove the crumpet from the griddle. Grease the crumpet rings well after each use.

While the crumpets are still warm, slather each with a pat of butter, a mound of ricotta and a spoonful of jam. Eat immediately, accompanied by a cup of tea and, if you can find one, a fleece-wearing computer genius.

Makes about 18 crumpets.

Lest this become a blog dedicated entirely to baking (because wouldn’t that just be awful? Horrors.), I’d like to tell you about eggs. Did you know that the French only eat one egg at a time? It’s true. Just ask them, and they’ll tell you that one egg is un oeuf. Un Oeuf… enough…get it? Do ya get it? Y’know, because an egg, in French, is pronounced like enough… so, um, it’s funny because… because…

Fine.

So, eggs. Despite being an integral part of most baked goods and breakfasts (and even some lucky lunches and dinners) worldwide, it’s not easy to be an egg. Not a day goes by without an egg getting cracked, whipped, scrambled, beaten, or fried, and sometimes even (!) separated. The poor little dears – it’s just not right, all that egg-related violence, and I think something should be done about it.

That’s why I like to bake my eggs. Gently. I like to tuck them gingerly into little ramekins, nestled sweetly against a soft bed of Sriracha-glazed scallions, and tenderly bake them until they’re pleasantly set and ready to be served with buttered toast. The whole process takes minutes, and is really a very humane way of preparing a simple and delicious brunch.

If you bake your eggs on a pile of Sriracha-glazed scallions, which I highly recommend that you do (not only to support the institution of brunch but also to spread the message of intolerance for crimes against egg-manity), you’ll probably want to eat more than just one. Which I can assure you is perfectly alright. When faced with piping hot ramekins filled with sweet and spicy scallions and lovely, runny yolks, I think at least two or three eggs will be more than un oeuf.

…ZING!

Baked Eggs with Sesame and Sriracha-Glazed Scallions

Ingredients:

• 2 eggs
• 8 scallions, chopped
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 1-2 teaspoons of Sriracha, or to taste
• 1-2 tablespoons rice wine vinegar
• 1 tablespoon sesame seeds
• salt and cracked black pepper, to taste
• extra chopped scallions, for garnish

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350ºF. Heat olive oil in a medium sauté pan over medium high heat. Throw in the chopped scallions and sauté, stirring occasionally, until the scallions start to become soft. Stir in the Sriracha, and cook for about a minute. Deglaze the pan with the rice wine vinegar, stirring the scallions for a minute, until they look shiny and glazed. Turn the heat down and season the scallions with salt and pepper. Off the heat, stir in the sesame seeds.

Spoon the scallions into the bottom of two small ramekins (or one larger ramekin, big enough to hold 2 eggs) placed on a sheet pan or cookie sheet. Crack the eggs into a bowl, and gently pour one egg into each ramekin, on top of the scallions. Be careful not to break the yolks.

Lightly season the top of the eggs with salt and pepper, and place the ramekins into the oven. Bake the eggs for 10-15 minutes, or until the whites have set and the yolk is still a bit runny.

Serve immediately, with an extra sprinkling of scallions and a slice of buttered toast (or maybe even a flaky croissant).

Serves 1.

Some pretty things for a Saturday afternoon during a warm spell in January:

pink gerbera daisies

brioche à tête rolls, looking like little Russian dolls. Or maybe birds on a wire.

my favorite new pie dishes, from Anthropologie

miniature brioche beehive, covered with torched french meringue and marzipan bees

And as it’s Saturday, I thought you might like a nice pancake recipe. Much easier to make than pains au chocolat, and perhaps just as delicious.
Saturday Pancakes
Adapted from The Cookworks

Ingredients:

• 2 cups all purpose flour
• 1/4 cup sugar
• 2 1/4 teaspoons baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 2 eggs
• 2 cups buttermilk
• 1/4 cup melted butter
• chocolate chips, fresh blueberries, sliced strawberries or sliced bananas

Directions:

In a large bowl, sift together the dry ingredients: flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda and salt.

In another bowl, whisk together the wet team: eggs, buttermilk, and melted butter.

Add the wet team to the dry team, and stir gently with a whisk or wooden spoon, just until the batter comes together. The batter will look lumpy and under mixed – this is good. Over mixed batter makes flat, heavy pancakes.

Heat some butter in a skillet over medium heat. When the pan is hot, spoon 1/2 cup batter into the skillet, and sprinkle a few chocolate chips, blueberries, or bananas on top. Cook for about 2 or 3 minutes, until little bubbles begin to form on the surface. Flip the pancake and cook for another 2 or 3 minutes.

Serve with extra butter and maple syrup. And maybe some bacon.

Makes about 12 pancakes.

PANCAKE?
by Shel Siverstein

Who wants a pancake,
Sweet and piping hot?
Good little Grace looks up and says,
“I’ll take the one on top.”
Who else wants a pancake,
Fresh off the griddle?
Terrible Theresa smiles and says,
“I’ll take the one in the middle.”